Dennis Carlssonor Myrtle The Monster
Tamsin wrote in her blog, ‘It was gingerish in colour. A thing of almost indescribable, unspeakable horror. A foul smelling, featureless creature with what appeared to have maggots crawling all over its head as it left an unknown, yellowish sticky sort of substance on the tiles as it slithered slowly along the corridor between the Victoria and Pankhurst dorms late that night’.
She continued ‘The acrid smell was overpowering and flakes of what looked like skin were falling.... Oh God, I cannot read any more of this. As I read Tamsin’s story I shouted out “Er Yuk Tamsin that’s gross. That is truly disgusting”.
What triggered all this was after reading my blog Tamsin said she was going to write some of her own stuff. If she had not started her first article with the words ‘THIS IS A TRUE STORY’ and made copies of the article titled ‘The Ginger Thingy’ and posted it all around the college and in the Folk Club in town, it would have remained just fantasy but she is pushing it as fact.
Tamsin has a fertile imagination but stone the crows, Miss Sefton is going to have to step in after two terrified junior girls reckon they saw this ‘ginger thingy’ and could not get to the toilets quick enough; you know the toilets next to Pankhurst, the junior dorm and as they say, the rest is history.
I know it does not exist; well I don’t know for certain but I don’t think it does. Myfanwy, that’s Myfanwy Evans one of the Evans twins, said she was staring straight into its red bloodshot eyes when it just went ‘poof’ and disappeared, her words. Maybe she experienced a mild rush of hormonal stuff who knows. It is serious enough an event for Nurse Mayo to have it checked out. It is also beginning to frighten the girls.
I sometimes think her general behaviour might be a genetic anomaly, that’s Tamsin not Nurse Mayo but this speculation must be refuted as her parents appear to be upstanding, God-fearing, Christian people with impeccable testimonials and are pillars of society and as I pointed out in another article her father even plays the clarinet.
Anyways the girls are so convinced this creature exists that Miss Sefton was going to ask Briggs if he would kindly set up a camp bed and sleep in the corridor for a couple of nights to convince the girls this creature does not exist but unfortunately Briggs was on annual leave.
It was Nurse Mayo doing the death rounds as she called them, or the late-night check of the dorms before going to bed, when there was a scream. No the scream was not from Nurse Mayo but young Naomi, that’s Naomi Brideau who was heading for the toilets and speed was of the essence. Well the story I heard was she did not make it, but dear readers that is another story.
Anyhow Nurse Mayo discovered on taking her to the infirmary that she was found to be suffering from food poisoning which I assume was causing a fever and was possibly causing her to hallucinate. She was rambling on about a creature with ‘huge bloodshot eyes and exhibiting an evil smell’. Yes she too had been reading Tamsin’s blog.
I told father about Tamsin’s stories and he said if her stories were that believable then she must be a convincing writer. Giving credit where credit is due I could not argue with that however I told father that may all be well and good but she is causing some consternation around the college with this ‘ginger thing’.
Miss Sefton the headmistress, on discovering the origin of the ‘Ginger Thing’ pulled Tamsin aside and congratulated her on her stories but suggested in the future she refrain from starting any future stories with THIS IS A TRUE STORY in a college full of young impressionable teenagers.
Briggs came back off of leave and was relieved of all duties while he agreed to sleep in the dorm corridors during the night hours for a week. There was no ‘indescribable, unspeakable ‘ginger thingy’. It is just a figment of Tamsin’s fertile imagination.
I did suggest to Tamsin it might have helped if she had given this thingy a name the readers could like associate with, perhaps a name like Myrtle the Monster then it would appear to be less threatening and/or foreboding.
Anyways to change the subject I was telling Charlotte, that’s Charlotte Patterson, the golden rule for Rolls Royce motor car passengers is to refrain from opening the car’s doors from the inside, one waits until a door is opened for them by the chauffeur or a retainer.
Father has a 1965 Rolls-Royce Silver Cloud, number three I think it is, but he drives it himself. You won’t believe this but they come in heaps and heaps of different colours.
I heard father telling Colonel Carter-Brown spares are not all that readily obtainable. Beecham used to do the maintenance but since his untimely demise a little man in Edinburgh has taken over that job.
Mother has a Morris Minor motor car, a green one, a deluxe version, it has a wireless and a heater in it and everything. She prefers smaller cars as she does not drive very much other than driving herself and Mrs Dalrymple around.
A bit of gossip for my gentle readers: it was Debra, Debra Buckingham, who applied to Miss Franklin the music teacher, or Lulu as she is affectionately known to the girls, to join the college string orchestra hoping to learn to play the bass guitar. She talks about riffs, slides, hammer-on and playing up the neck and stuff. I smell encouragement here from Nathan the leader of the local folk group the ‘The Sheriffs Men’.
Miss Franklin said sternly “Debra I do not teach the bass guitar”.
She added I also do not teach the bagpipes, the aeolian pipes or the pipes of pan and, what’s more if you want to learn any of these instruments Debra you will have to learn ex-curriculum at the music shop in the high street.
She also pointed out classical composers like Brahms, Mozart, Bach and others did not write music for such instruments.
By the way if there is any confusion it was Miss Franklin that was known as Lu Lu not Debra.
I overheard Charlotte asking personal questions of Tamsin like ‘Do you have a regular boy-friend Tamsin?’
Tamsin replied tersely “No Charlotte I don’t. What I do have though are Boy-Friends” with hard emphasis on the plural.
That makes sense I ‘spose. This news might come as a disappointment to Nathan though who no doubt still thinks he is currently the front-runner in that department. Even Elspeth spurned him, poor Nathan.
No, Tamsin is her own person, whatever that means.
