Teeth Braces; Jessica’s Apprehension
Hang on; look I will have to get back to you later about this as Nurse Mayo is coming up the corridor with Jessica, that’s Jessica Wyndham. She had taken her to the dentist in town to have her teeth braces removed. If you remember it was the Evans twins who recently had braces fitted, then a few weeks ago Candice had her teeth braces removed. It is getting like an orthodontist factory line here.
Where was I? Anyways Jessica said while peering down her mouth the dentist had said to her conversationally “I hear Bridgette’s mother is still trying to make contact with ‘our dear departed’ I believe?”
Tamsin’s eyes opened wide “Does that mean the dentist can actually tell that just by looking at your teeth”?
I said forcefully “Don’t be so stupid Tamsin”.
I remember when Candice first turned up in class on her arrival at college, probably when she was about 12. She had one of her front teeth missing and Miss Pringle inquired if she had been in a playground fight. No, teeth falling out are a natural occurrence at this age; it appears no one yet knows why.
Well the story goes; hang on let me start from the beginning. You all know, well you should do by now, our science teacher Mr Crisis comes from Epsilon Boötis, but I guess you know all this and how he got the job as the science teacher in the first place.
We at first thought he came from Zeta Reticuli number two, actually that’s what Rhonda told us but it turns out she got it all wrong, and it was Epsilon Boötis. You see Zeta Reticuli number one is a sun and Zeta Reticuli number two is the planet that goes around and around it. Not that it matters anyway as Mr Crisis isn’t from there.
Anyways, Mr Crisis knocked up this device in the science lab and accidentally took him and Rhonda who was assisting him back to his home planet Zeta Reticuli number two, er sorry Epsilon Boötis, whatever, because there was an emergency thing in Mr Crisis’s family. I almost wrote there was a crisis in Mr Crisis’s family, LOL. Remember I told you Rhonda’s mother was hopping mad at Mr Crisis for his carelessness.
I realize this is all idle gossip that is coming from Tamsin and I have to be sceptical, very sceptical but the story goes that Mr Crisis had invited Miss Taylor, the pretty new teacher, to a round trip to meet his family if she would like to accompany him on his holidays to his home planet.
Now we all know it is about 39 light-years from Denham Hall, that’s Epsilon Boötis, give or take a few light-years and Miss Taylor would not have accrued enough leave yet as she only turned up a couple of weeks ago, and even travelling at the speed of light would not have made it back in two weeks. Miss Taylor was concerned if she was late getting back it might put her job in jeopardy or even at risk and she did not want to lose her job. Which all the girls thought was fair enough.
Anyway Mr Crisis explained to Miss Taylor that one travels via dimensions and portals not in little metal saucer canisters and thingies, so he could assure her that he would get her back in time for the start of the new semester. I knew a love interest would blossom sooner than later but more likely with one of the maintenance men, probably Mr Baxendell. He has a reputation as a bit of a lothario, whatever that is.
Miss Taylor refused Mr Crisis’s kind offer, just to be on the safe side.
Miss Frenzi was about to start the last lesson of the day. “Now girls may I have your attention. I would like to remind you all that chewing gum is not a prohibited or a banned substance in this establishment as far as I know, but it is banned in the classrooms particularly if the decaying remains are stuck underneath your desks to slowly decompose”.
Irritated Miss Frenzi inquired “Candice are you listening to me?”
Candice sheepishly withdrew her head from under her desk.
Miss Frenzi continued “Yes Candice Roberson, perhaps you are hoping to rescue the remains of that disgusting, putrefying piece of ruminant that you stuck beneath your desk for future consumption”.
There was muted sniggering from the class.
A little louder Miss Frenzi pointed out “and to all of you it is not the job of the cleaners, like minesweepers, to hunt down these rotting remains”.
“Colloquial French textbooks out”.
I looked down….. I looked up…… it was 4 pm I must have dozed off.
Mother rang just after tea and during the conversation told me she was going to put Mrs Dalrymple under regression.
“Oh no,” I asked horrified “what for?”
She replied “Well she says she has this fear of mice and wants to know if it was something that happened to her during her childhood to have caused this fear.” She reckons something most traumatic must have occurred to warrant this anxiety.
I asked “does this anxiety involve just the one mouse or a whole pack of mice?”
She said “she doesn’t know” and that’s why being put into regression might be the answer.
I replied “Mother most people don’t like mice for heaven’s sake. It is not a fear. It’s like people who don’t like greens or porridge”.
“Yes Bridgette” replied mother “but Mrs Dalrymple thinks it goes much, much deeper “.
I despair. I think I may not go home this weekend.
It was to be an evening at the folk club in town. Most of Boadicea dorm girls are card-carrying members of the club so it IS a cheap night out. The Sheriff’s Men are the resident folk group. Nathan, the group leader told us he had started a Facebook page. Now there was a trap for the unwary. If anyone is interested I think he is touting for friends. Nathan can be likened to an unexploded mine….waiting to be trodden on, if that makes any sense.
The club often have meat tray raffles. I remember when Tamsin first arrived and she won a meat tray at the club and the next day she asked the kitchen ladies to cook the meat up for her. They refused and told her the college kitchens are not a café and the college dining room is not a restaurant and anyway there was enough meat in the meat tray to feed the whole school. She took the meat back to the club. Heavens knows how long it had been out of the fridge.
Tamsin is very quick on her feet but her brain doesn’t automatically follow.
For your interest Mr Crisis is still living in the caretakers accommodation, rent free I believe. The new teacher Miss Taylor has an apartment in the town and the headmistress Miss Sefton lives in a lovely little cottage in the grounds of Denham Hall and spends much of her time in her garden. She has been with the college since like forever.
Next week I will go home to Inveraray Castle hoping Mrs Dalrymple is still not under regression. I must talk to mother about the piano.
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