Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.

 

                                           

                

                                                             Roses are Red, violets are Blue 

You might remember the only reason my new book “Roses are Red, Violets are Blue” a romance novel, lacked the polish and depth of Anna Karina, or even Wuthering Heights was I only had a half hour to complete the book as I was meeting Symphony, she wanted to go down to the shops to buy some lip gloss. 

She prefers her name to be spelled as Symphonie, her mother it appears was not particularly hot on spelling. You might remember it was Tamsin that noted when Symphony first arrived at Denham, that IF her middle name had been say Ophelia or something like that her initials would be S.O.S.

I ask, what’s that got to do with anything? 

Anyways, Symphony better not let Miss Sefton catch her wearing lip gloss and stuff. 

It’s been at least 6 months and I have already sold two copies of my book Denham Hall. Tamsin made her parents buy a copy and the other one, well Tamsin’s mother’s friend, Mrs Fellows said she found a copy in a rubbish bin next to the bus stop, you know the bus stop outside Rickmansworth train station….in front of the newsagents. 

You would think people would pass a book on for other readers to enjoy. Anyway, the couple of quid royalties won’t go astray. 

The dorm is always a hotbed of gossip and last night was no exception, I overheard Zanthe, that Zanthe Perkins telling Naomi Brideau the new girl, the purpose of a belly button as she put it, was where they connect a bicycle pump to “blow babies up when they are born,” Anyways if Naomi had been following biology lessons, she would know that is not true. 

I hate Zanthe Perkins sometimes, she is a troublemaker. It was her that told Naomi, her sister  gave birth to identical twins, and when Naomi inquired  how does she tell them apart she told her, “Well her brother has started shaving, and his twin sister has long hair and has completely different looking private parts …….to her twin brother” 

It was Zanthe whose mother accused her of being a ‘wayward’ child, whatever that is and reminded her when she was having one of her tantrums, that’s Zanthe not her mother, that if it was not for her father and herself, she would not be here. Extending her right arm, with the palm of her hand and fingers pointing upright added, “and I am not going into the more finer detail’s young lady. Do I make myself clear?” 

I suppose it is no more stupid than the conversation Candice told us why she called her cat Caspian, no hang on it was Christine, yes Christine. She said the problem was the cat refused to answer to the name Caspian, that’s the reason they called her Christine, she pointed out quite rightly that was only because the cat had never heard the name Caspian before. Is this making any sense? 

What other gossip is there this week from Denham Hall? Mother rang to say Father is getting the Bentley serviced and they are currently using the Morris Minor. Mother says she finds the Morris more economical and apparently easier to park. Oh, and mother has taken a sudden interest in racing pigeons. This evening they are both driving over to the Carter-Browns at Ruthin Castle. Tonight is their Bridge night. 

As you all know over the years not much really happens from day to day, students come, teachers go. I will briefly sum up my last couple of years at college by reminding my gentle readers that Mr Crisis returned to Zeta Reticuli Two think it was, and Miss Sefton is still the college head. Rebecca Macleod, Charlotte Patterson, Candice Robertson, Blodwyn and Myfanwy Evans left college with me, as did Jessica Wyndham, Phaedra Gascoigne, Elspeth MacDonald, and Marlene Kuczynski. Most of the girls were from Boadicea dorm. 

Miss Frenzi was still Asst. Head and Miss Green was still the Maths teacher. Miss Franklin or Lu Lu the music teacher was still employed as was Miss Taylor, the maths teacher. I am not sure where Dakota Pugsley ended up …probably jail. One person I was never going to shake off was Tamsin Lacey, just joking, she was and still is my very best friend. 

On leaving college myself and Tamsin went to Edinburgh University to study for a M.A in Sociology and Psychology. We were hoping to assist helping on increasing the tourist appeal of Argyll Castle, particularly increasing the numbers of foreign tourists, as Inveraray Castle seemed to be attracting more tourist attention for the for some strange reason, but we intend to change that. 

I heard Father tell Mother that if Tamsin eventually got married, she and her new partner can live in the Gatehouse at Argyll Castle in perpetuity, rent free, not that Tamsin in the near future is looking to get married. Over the years many of our friends like the Evans girls and Phaedra Gascoigne visit us with their friends or if married with their husbands, they always get free admission. Mother, that’s Lady Delila and Mrs Dalrymple are still inseparable, Father told us they were currently interested into E.T.s and UFO’s and stuff and are trying to make contact with the visitors. 

Although father has retired, he still sits on a number of boards, so myself and Tamsin can quite adequately look after the secretarial side of things. Extra staff have been taken on in the coffee shop in anticipation of an increase in tourist numbers and has been increased in size. 

Bridgette Campbell.