No 31 - The Hallucinating Bunny

   

 The Hallucinating Bunny 

The title the Hallucinating Bunny was not my idea it was Phaedra’s, that’s Phaedra Gascoigne. It is why I am using it as a subheading only; frankly, I did not want to use it at all. By the way, she is now my second best friend. Tamsin used to be my second best friend but she’s now my best friend, since Patience left. Incidentally for anyone that’s interested I am not touting for further Facebook friends……. well not at the present.

She, that’s Phaedra, suggested, ‘Why not call your next story The Hallucinating Bunny?’

Astounded I asked, ‘Why would I do that?’

She replied, ’It would attract a lot more readers’.

I was reminded of the title of my story ‘Tamsin and the Erotic Dancers’ or it was ‘Tamsin and the Exotic Dancers’. That had nothing to do with the story either. That was Phaedra Gascoigne being silly again.

Anyway, I said ‘Rabbits don’t hallucinate’.

Mockingly she queried ‘like Sugar Plum Fairies don’t dance either Bridgette?’.

It was beginning to make sense; anyway gentle readers pay no attention to the silly subtitle.

I admit I was at a loss where I would or could go with that story anyway and I had previously asked Phaedra for some help.

I had cautiously asked ‘but why was the bunny hallucinating in the first place?’

She replied ‘well, tell your readers he used to eat weed and stuff and mushrooms down by the river that made him go funny’.

Astounded I replied ‘GO FUNNY? For heaven’s sake that’s not how Lewis Carroll would have written this story. I am going to write something else’.

She said ‘Alright. Suit yourself. Why not leave the title as it is and write about cats?’

I pointed out ‘but I can’t do that. I will be deceiving my blog readers. I will lose all credibility, even credence’.

She teased ‘You’ve only got three followers as it is Bridgette. One of them is me and one is Tamsin. Heavens knows who the third one is’.

It was the weekend again and I was at home at Inveraray Castle. Tamsin was staying with her parents at Loch Awe on Saturday then traveling to Inveraray on Sunday.

After my attempt to write a story on my blog about a hallucinating rabbit, with little help or was that hindrance by Phaedra, it was by sheer coincidence the local chapter of the Loch Awe Rabbits Fanciers Society (LARFS) sent a request to his Grace, that’s father and asked if they could use the castle grounds to host the yearly Rabbit Show.

Last year a lady rabbit had escaped. Hopefully, it went south of the border or there would have been hell to pay if she found a mate around the castle or its environs.

Father passed this request on to the castle manageress lady. It was no easy task that confronted her with last-minute requests causing somewhat of a headache to organize. Her hands were already full getting ready for opening the castle for the start of the 2020 season; this request caused even more unexpected pressure. She informed father they can probably slot it in just before the MG Car Cub meeting or possibly after the Highland Dancing, always a great favorite with overseas tourists.

For the Rabbit Show, she suggested hiring a big marquee to shield the bunnies from any unforeseen inclement weather.

I used to envy the manageress. The fact is I still do as I was hoping one day to mimic her efficiency when I became father’s secretary in the Edinburgh office which unfortunately would mean Mrs Tinkle will have to be offered a redundancy.

Always one step ahead and anticipating possible problems, she also politely requested Colonel Carter-Brown not to bring Reynard the fox even on a leash as he is by nature an excitable creature and seeing rabbits will make him, well even more excitable. It was better if he were left at home ….. That’s Reynard the fox by the way, not Colonel Carter-Brown.

Tamsin and her parents arrived on Sunday morning. Tamsin’s parents Mr and Mrs Lacey and Mr Crisis socialized in the saloon with my parents. Meanwhile, Tamsin and I took Reynard for a walk down by the river.

Later that evening in the drawing-room I told Mr Crisis about the forthcoming summer events at Inveraray Castle and of the upcoming rabbit show. Mr Crisis inquired ‘what is a Rabbit Show?’

Tamsin said people show, buy and sell rabbits and the prettiest rabbit wins a prize. Mr Crisis asked ‘How does one determine the prettiest rabbit?’

Tamsin replied, ‘Funny that, I have not got a clue. I have never really thought about it.’

Mr Crisis was deep in thought when he said ‘my people have been traversing the galaxies and universes for well over one hundred million years. I am not sure what rung of the ladder of evolution your people are on but when you talk about rabbit shows I am also reminded of one of your sporting events when two of your species violently attack each other with the express purpose of battering each other into a state of unconsciousness in the name of sport and the person who ‘wins’ receives accolades and a prize. It will be a long time Bridgette before your people reach the distant stars’.

Mr Crisis had a point. For those that do not know, Mr Crisis, our science teacher arrived like a bolt of pure energy. He was on a fly-by of our planet and decided to stay awhile. Miss Sefton, the headmistress was unaware of this when he applied for the vacant position of the science teacher.

He is from a small planet in the Boötes Galaxy, I think it is; hang on perhaps it was in the habitable zone or is it the Goldilocks Zone of Proxima Centauri …..or was it Epsilon Bootis? Look, look leave that with me. I will have to get back to you on that one.

On arriving back at Denham Hall I heard the news that Patience who was the head prefect who had left College and went on to university to study law had been invited back to college to give the girls a talk about life after Denham Hall.

She had been my very best friend for ages and ages, well at least 3 years I reckon. She told us lawyers and solicitors do not necessarily make a living trading on the misfortune of others but also deal in real estate, contracts, and things.

You might remember I told you Tamsin said that, like Patience, when she leaves the school she also would like to take up soliciting rather than become a teacher. She reckons there would be far more money in it and a lot less agro.

I was inclined to agree with her but Miss Pringle who had overheard that observation obviously did not appreciate such remarks and sent Tamsin straight to Miss Sefton the headmistress’s office where the misunderstanding I understand was eventually sorted out.

It was Monday morning and I wondered what the new week would bring.