No 32 - Rickmansworth Thoughts

         Rickmansworth Thoughts 

It was while Mr Crisis, the science teacher, was conducting the sixth form's last lesson of the day he turned from the blackboard; “Tamsin Lacey?” All eyes swivelled round to Tamsin. “I would greatly appreciate it if you did not exchange Facebook messages during my science lesson”.

He continued. “Charlotte Patterson?” All eyes re-focused on Charlotte. “I realise my lecture is not discussing the cutting edge of science and technology but it is as basic as it can get. At least at the end of the day you will know how to turn a light switch on and off”.

This rebuke was met with some muted, stifled sniggering.

Both Tamsin and Charlotte sat in the back row but on the opposite sides of the classroom. They both looked up sheepishly. Little did they know if he so desired Mr Crisis could read what they were messaging. Telepathy is second nature to inter-stellar travellers. Although he was able to monitor their messages he may not have fully understood the more subtle meaning of some of their Facebook messaging language.

Mr Crisis continued “Meanwhile, while I have your attention young ladies, you can bring your mobile phones forward and put them on my desk, collect them when you leave and refrain from bringing them into the classroom in future. Thank you”.

It was the last lesson of the day and of the week and Mr Crisis was discussing the relation between time and distance. Tamsin put up her hand and asked “Sir, if a rogue country fired a missile at us how long would it take to get to the college?”

Mr Crisis asked querulously “Miss Lacey, why would a rogue country want to target Rickmansworth Young Ladies College? Are we a threat in some way?”

“No Sir. I just wondered how long we would have to get to an air-raid shelter”.

As Mr Crisis scratched his head and was about to reply the bell sounded. There was a lot of movement looking for bags and stuff which resulted in a bit of congestion at the door. It was the weekend.

The senior girls were aware Mr Crisis was an Inter-Stellar, Inter-Universe and Inter-Dimensional traveller which for the life of me was never discovered at his initial or any other subsequent interview for the science teacher’s position with Miss Sefton the headmistress.

He had arrived at Denham Hall when Miss Cribb resigned to get married and he applied for the vacant position of science teacher. He must have told some huge porkies to Miss Sefton regarding his previous employment history at the interview that’s all I can think of.

I don’t want to dwell on this as, in the scheme of things like Multiple Universes, other Dimensions and Dark Energy, passing Facebook messages during a science lesson is insignificant.

Today is Friday the most important day of the week and being Friday afternoon that makes it makes it doubly important.

This afternoon Nurse Mayo had arranged with Candice’s parents to take her to the orthodontist in town to have a follow up appointment following the removal of her braces. Tamsin quipped “Candice, maybe the orthodontist will have to put your braces back in again. Is this the price you are prepared to pay for your vanity?”

Candice replied “I hope you are not implying I’m vain, Tamsin”.

Oh I nearly forgot. Marlene Kuczynski is leaving Denham Hall at the end of next week. Her father who is, or rather was the famous TV wrestler the ‘Bone Crusher’ lost his TV job. She said it was due to the erratic or inconsistent TV viewing habits of the public. They are fed up with darts and wrestling programmes and want more cooking and talent shows so the family are heading back to Krakow.

I sometimes wonder if I am living in the twilight zone with Tamsin. In the Rickmansworth Folk club the other evening Nathan asked her if she wanted to go the movies sometime. I know he has the ‘hots’ for Tamsin but she reckons he has the ‘hots’ for all girls.

I suppose this was meant to be a date which ceased to be a date when she said “yes, but only if Bridgette can come as well”.

She was just heeding his mother’s sound advice to have ones wits about one at all times when alone with Nathan. Tamsin said there was no way this friendship was going to develop into an ‘item’ thing.

I warned Tamsin I will only come along if it is a girl’s movie. She asked Nathan if there were tanks, gun battles and downed helicopters in the movie.

He said “No. It’s a girls movie”

Tamsin asked what he meant by that. He hesitated then said “Well there are no tanks, gun battles or downed helicopters in the movie”.

I told Tamsin I don’t trust Nathan. If there is killing and blood all over the place I am walking out of the cinema.

This week, by popular demand, they are re-showing Charlton Heston in Ben-Hur at the Watersmeet cinema ….……again. I suspect there might be some blood and gore spilled in this one as well.

It was Friday evening. I was at home at Inveraray Castle. Tamsin was spending all the weekend with my family as her parents were visiting friends in Edinburgh. It was wintertime and cold outside so we did not stray far from the log fire. A car has been sent to pick up Mrs Rutherford who was to spend the evening with mother.

As a matter of interest to my gentle readers, they might remember that it was Mrs Rutherford that sold the bakery and has since opened a pet shop at the end of the village. Now I am not saying for one moment her interest in small animals was triggered by rats she might have occasionally seen in her bakery shop but she is now selling cats, dogs and budgies which might allow her to get a lie-in, instead of awakening at the crack of dawn to bake bread and muffins for a living.

For those of you that are looking for her pet shop it is in the row of shops up from the George Hotel in Main Street East and for those of you who wish to visit the George Hotel it is ‘dog-friendly’.

The new lady who I have not been introduced to and who has taken over Mrs Rutherford’s shop is going to retain the premises as a bakery. I do hope she will encourage her rodents to move so the shop can continue to fill mother’s weekly cottage loaf order.

I realise all this is just idle gossip but there is not a lot going on in Inveraray……well not until the snow melts that is. Well that is not quite true I like to get my facts correct but this year a couple of Canadians did turn up at the George Hotel with snow skis, ear muffs, toboggans and snowshoes.

Tamsin, always the comedian, commented that at least they left the huskies at home.

The visitors were told there was no snow this year, although the lack of snow did not detract the visitors from Inveraray Castle.

Father was pleased as were the castle’s auditors. I know the castle manageress lady has been very busy getting ready for the opening of the castle for the start of the new season so whether there was snow on the ground or not it was immaterial.